That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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