Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
