your room smells of hookers.
And success
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Operation Purity has been aborted
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
