I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
