If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
