How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
