God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
