At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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