Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize