Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
