can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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