friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
The convent might be a nice break from real life
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
