i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
either way he was missing a nipple.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
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