then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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