Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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