my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
where does the pee come out of this thing
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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