If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
