Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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