Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
