i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
