is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
