Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize
