Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
