i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
