also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
All I want is dick and wine.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
