Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just gargled with NyQuil
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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