Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
