Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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