Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
