I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
