I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
How does one acquire holy water?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
