I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
