absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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