Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I just forgot I was standing up.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
