I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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