i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
