I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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