just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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