That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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