so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
