forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize