it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
