She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize