who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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