I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Randomize
