can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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