oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
