He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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