That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
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