Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
