i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
