GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize