addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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