i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
