Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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