What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
