I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
