it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
