Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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